Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Our 'easy' delivery

I woke up early Tuesday morning the 26th with Wyatt and felt more rested than I had in months! Wyatt sat with me on the couch and we snuggled while watching TV. I looked out the windows and saw a beautifully dark, cloudy sky that was calling to me. I love the smell of rain and the feel in the air as a storm rolls in. Wyatt fell back to sleep and the rest of the house was quiet so I slipped outside and decided to just walk and enjoy the still morning. As I walked I thought about my precious baby and what he was doing on the other side of the veil that was keeping him from joining our family.

I had walked about a quarter mile when my phone rang and Nick was asking me where in the heck I was and why had I gone alone!! I walked back home and Nick had the kids ready to go walk over and feed the horses some apples. We talked about if our little boy would ever decide to come on his own or if we should just go in and help him along. We decided that we had waited this long, we could wait a little longer. We walked back from feeding the horses and Nick started to water the plants while the kids played. As I turned to walk inside to help Wyatt with something I suddenly felt like I was peeing my pants! I stopped and clenched but there was still more, not a lot, just enough to make me feel wet. I hurried to the bathroom and told Nick about it. Since my water has never broken on it's own we had no idea if that was what had just happened.

The kids wanted to go to the store to get a donut and there was no more 'water' so off to the store we went. I called my sister-in-law because she is the only one who has had her water break and asked her if my water could break a little at a time?!? As we walked into the store I started 'peeing' my pants again and hurried straight back to the bathroom. Nick grabbed 3 donuts and we quickly left the store. We called our Moms and let them know we had made the decision to go into town. I was excited that my water broke on it's own and hoped that this delivery would be 'easy' because my body was obviously ready.

10 hours after my water broke I still was not having contractions. We started the lowest dose of pit and crossed our fingers that it would happen quickly. An hour later I had still made no progress. I decided to get an epidural so that we could be a little more aggressive with trying to get him here and I was starting to get really tired. I got my epidural and about 30 minutes later it started to wear off so my medicine man came in and gave me another boost. Suddenly my breathing started to echo in my ears, it was the weirdest thing I have ever heard/felt and I have no idea how to describe it. But it started to echo and then my heart started to POUND and then my legs started to shake and not just shake like shivering, they started to convulse.

It was scary and I seriously thought that I had, had a bad reaction and that something bad was going to happen to me. Immediately after I had a contraction and with it came the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. It felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife and ripping open my abdomen. I tried taking a breath and my mask shut and sealed to my face, I couldn't breathe! I have a horrible phobia of things on my face and not being able to breathe, so the pain the echoing the shaking and now not being able to breathe ... I panicked! I look back now and I am embarrassed at how I handled it but it was so much all at once that I couldn't think straight. I kept begging for them to take the pain away, but there was nothing they could do. Nick saved me from going completely crazy and pulled my mask just off my face so I could take a deep breath. I couldn't focus and I couldn't do what my nurse kept asking me to do, but I could breathe! She asked me to push but it hurt 10x worse to push. I tried to calm down and focus but everything was swimming around me.



My nurse asked me to push again and I tried. It hurt like the dickens but my body wanted to push as hard as I could to just get him out. I pushed and pushed and then my nurse told me I had to stop but I couldn't stop, I was almost frantic to just keep pushing. She told me I Had to stop because David was having a hard time. It took everything I had to stop and it seemed like forever before my Dr walked through the door and gave me the okay to start pushing again. I didn't feel the ring of fire that I have heard about, but I did feel myself tear. I could feel the contractions and I could feel the pressure as he came out but I couldn't feel the shots she started giving me and they didn't take any pain away.

I was so grateful to see my beautiful, healthy, crying baby boy as they laid him on my tummy. He was the most amazing little thing that I had ever seen and he was finally here. I was still in pain, I could feel each stitch that was being placed but it didn't matter anymore. He was here, he was in my arms and everything I would have gone through it all again just for him. My Stake President told me one time, "It has been confirmed to me by the Spirit that Mothers reach through the veil and pull their children's spirits into this world" I truly believe that. David was there waiting for me to help him come into this world. I am amazed with the wonderful little spirit that Heavenly Father has sent to us and I hope that I will be able to help him fulfill his mission here on earth.

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